


A World Still Turning

by TheMewsAtTen



Category: The Halcyon (TV)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, One Shot, Period Typical Attitudes, Period-Typical Homophobia, Period-Typical Racism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-27
Updated: 2017-07-27
Packaged: 2018-12-07 16:28:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11627403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMewsAtTen/pseuds/TheMewsAtTen
Summary: A pretty short one-shot reimagining of the scene in Toby's room in episode 6, and my thoughts on a few things that *might* have happened after we left them!Obviously Toby, Adil and the world of The Halcyon are nothing to do with me, and are the very wonderful property of their creators, for whom I have much love and respect. No money is being made from this - I'm really just playing with someone else's toys for a bit!





	A World Still Turning

**Author's Note:**

> So, I've never written smut before. In fact I've never written fanfic of any kind before, so please be constructive but kind to a newbie! 
> 
> If I've mistagged or made any 'admin' errors, just let me know - I'm learning! 
> 
> Having a tough time with my health right now, so I have a little bit of time on my hands to cross some things off my wish list and, being a fanfic fan, actually trying to write my own was one of them, and Toby and Adil's story just called to me.

Adil glanced furtively around the corridor. His shift didn't start for well over an hour, but he'd still have a hell of a time explaining why he was up here if anyone should see him.

He rapped lightly at the door to Toby's room, his hand still in mid-air as it flew open to reveal Toby standing there, clearly flustered, scruffily half-dressed under his dressing gown.

“Oh, thank God!” Toby muttered as he pulled Adil into the room, backing him against the wall as soon as he’d swung the door closed. Adil briefly relaxed into the feeling of Toby’s hands cupping his face as he kissed him hungrily, falling to his shoulders and gripping them, as if he were reassuring himself that Adil was really there.

Toby was always a little frenetic; always buzzing with nervous energy. But it was obvious that something had made him even more anxious than he usually was.

“W-what is it? What’s wrong?” Adil stuttered.

Toby grabbed Adil's hand, leading him into the middle of the room before spinning on his heel to face him. Adil looked at him closely. He was pale and drawn, trembling with panic.

“You live near Paddington,” he sighed, exasperated.

“Yes . . .” answered Adil, confused.

“Bomb dropped on a shelter and killed everyone inside,” said Toby.

It was such dreadful, awful news - news that would be breaking hearts right now, somewhere out there in the city. And Toby had thought he had been hurt. Adil knew it was shameful to be feeling so good in this moment, so purely happy at the affection that was pooling in his chest and making his body tingle. Toby had been thinking of him. Had been _worried_ about him.

“Look, I’m alright. See? I’m fine,” soothed Adil with a smile, brushing his fingers lightly over Toby’s waist. “You were that worried about me, huh?” he teased, touching their foreheads together.

“Oh, shut up . . ." chided Toby softly, looking straight into Adil’s eyes, grabbing at him and breathing him in, ". . . you have no idea.” His fingertips feathered the back of Adil’s neck as he pulled him into a deep, greedy kiss.

Adil didn’t think he would ever get used to the way Toby's kisses made heat coil in his stomach and set his heart thumping. They were always open-mouthed, breathless and passionate, perhaps because they were always stolen kisses in stolen time.

Their very first kiss had been quite chaste by comparison. Adil had been doing his daily check of the wine cellar when Toby had crept in to hide, desperately trying to give the slip to another in a long line of rich, extremely talkative lady companions his mother had been trying to set him up with.

He had pushed Adil against the wall to put them both out of sight as the girl passed by the cellar and down the corridor towards the staircase, all the while calling out Toby's name in an irritating sing-song.

He and Toby had been pressed together, so close that Adil, feeling the heat coming from Toby's body, had prayed that he wouldn't notice the heaviness of his breathing, or his racing heartbeat, or the growing bulge at his crotch.

As the girl had wandered obliviously towards the bottom of the stairs, Toby's clean, spicy scent had made Adil so light-headed that he'd actually _giggled,_ and Toby's hand had come up to his mouth to stifle the sound. Then, as she disappeared up the stairs to continue her search, Toby's face had cracked into that delicious wide smile as he suppressed his own mischievous chuckle. In that moment Adil, dizzy with desire, had leaned forward and touched his lips to Toby's.

It had been a ridiculously risky thing to do. Adil was a cocktail waiter - staff, for God's sake - quite apart from being an Indian immigrant, and a man. The potential consequences of anyone finding out he had made a pass at _Lord Hamilton's brother_  were too severe to bear thinking about. If he had made a mistake, got Toby wrong, the very best possible outcome would have been instant dismissal, and when Toby had simply run out of that wine cellar, clearly dumbstruck, Adil had suffered a whole torturous day of waiting, of agonising over how he could possibly recover something, anything, from the wreckage of his stupid, doomed crush.

But even in the blur of that sheer terror, something inside him truly believed he wasn't mistaken - that he'd got Toby exactly right. After all, he hadn’t lashed out. He hadn’t protested at all.

Adil had allowed himself to be distracted by memories, of catching intense glances from Toby from the corner of his eye as he read at the bar while Adil worked, of electrifying touches of their hands as Adil passed him glasses of champagne of an evening.

On the other hand, Toby had made it very clear that while he appreciated the coffee Adil had been sending up to his room to help him work over the past few weeks, it had made him feel, well, uncomfortable. Awkward.

And yet . . . he scarcely dared allow himself to believe what he knew in his heart.

Whatever the complications, whatever the consequences, whatever the cost, Toby had been kissing him back in that cellar.

Of course he knew now that, for Toby, that kiss had been a revelation, and that he’d run because he’d been floored by it; because he just hadn’t known what else to do. He had found all that out when he came up to Toby’s room the next day and offered his resignation, hoping against hope that while he had to lose his job, he could at least leave with what remained of his dignity and something resembling a reference.

But that day, that second time, right here in this room, it had been Toby who had reached out to Adil, had closed that gap and taken Adil with his lips, his hands. _I've never made sense . . . until yesterday._ Toby had said those words to him, had kissed him, deeper and gentler and more probing than he'd ever been kissed before, and Adil’s life had been thrown into blissful chaos.

He had quickly come to crave Toby’s energy, his fire; the way he would pull away from a kiss with that glorious grin that made Adil’s knees go weak, before leaning in to kiss him again, harder this time. Adil felt like his whole body had woken up. Toby had jolted him out of a kind of waking death, a mechanical, empty existence, and he burned for him with every waking moment.

The intensity between them had grown and grown since then, but they hadn’t gone much further together physically. Adil hadn't pressed the matter. It was important to him that Toby set the pace.

If Adil had very little experience of the physical aspects of being with another person, he felt sure Toby must have less still. But with every kiss, the anticipation that fuelled his imagination when he was alone in his own bed, his cock in his hand, picturing Toby spread out naked beneath him, or on top of him, or with his beautiful, clever mouth wrapped around him became more and more excruciating. 

Adil would wait; would let his growing desire for Toby drive him to the point of madness if that was the price he had to pay. Because, even though it was disastrous and impossible and could never work, he had fallen completely in love with Toby Hamilton. Suddenly, Toby had come into Adil’s world and put it on like a well-tailored suit. The way he fit into it so perfectly made the impossibility of it all feel perverse and deeply unfair.

Of course he longed to take Toby and do all of the things he thought about when he was alone. But it was Toby's _pleasure_ he craved more than anything else. To be the man to make brave, shy, bookish Mr Toby Hamilton feel comfortable with him, confident and happy, to feel truly precious and wanted and _sexy_ in a way he had never felt before? For Adil, there was no other fantasy to compare, and he would wait, forever if he had to, to make it happen.

But today, right here, Toby's relief that Adil was safe was palpable, and he suddenly felt different under his hands. It was barely perceptible; a thrumming that Adil was sure he could feel only because he'd spent so much time learning Toby, committing his every detail to memory since the first time he laid eyes on him. He could still feel that tension in him, all the worry and anxiety pouring itself into this kiss, this moment. It was still that familiar energy, a crackling under Toby’s surface, a pulsing coming from his skin, but there was something else too - his breathing was sharp and his lips trembled, as if he were full of something ravenous and consuming. It was as if Adil could suddenly taste his hunger for  _more_ _._

A moan caught in the back of Adil’s throat as he felt Toby gently nip at his bottom lip with his teeth. Adil opened his eyes to look at Toby, who was looking back at him with that obscenely beautiful grin that always made him so painfully hard. Toby bowed his head to kiss Adil’s neck, tracing a line just beneath his earlobe with his tongue as he went.

“I want you,” Toby drawled slowly.

White hot lust washed over Adil, the sound of Toby growling those three words into his ear bringing every fantasy he’d ever had about him screaming into his mind in a blaze of arousal, making him feel like sobbing with delicious frustration.

“You have me,” Adil said weakly, his breath catching.

Adil walked Toby backwards towards the bed, sitting him down, stroking his face and pressing a single, tender kiss to his forehead, running his thumb over Toby's plump, kiss-bruised bottom lip.

“Would you like me to lock the door?” Adil asked with a smile.

Toby nodded, his mouth still hanging slightly open from Adil's touch, as Adil made his way to the door, locking it carefully.

As Adil turned and walked slowly back over to the bed, he took in the sight of Toby, still sitting where he'd left him, watching him move toward him as if he were witnessing something rare and fascinating, something that he was afraid would disappear entirely if he dared to move a muscle.

“Would you like . . . can I please undress you?” Adil asked, his voice shaking.

Toby just nodded again, raising himself up to stand in front of Adil.

Undressing Toby slowly, reverently, never breaking eye contact as he pulled gently at the cord of his dressing gown and delicately removed every piece of his clothing, Adil laid him on the bed, unashamedly drinking in the sight of his naked body. _He really is breathtaking_ , he thought, as he slowly undressed himself, Toby watching it like a show the whole time, his eyes wide, his breathing more and more ragged.

Adil finally came to lay next to Toby on the bed, their naked bodies flush together, stroking his face and tenderly, deliberately kissing his lips, his cheeks, his neck, his shoulders.

“Do you want to touch me?” Adil softly whispered, conscious of how unmoving and nervous Toby still seemed to be.

“Yes. Yes I do. Can I?” asked Toby eagerly.

“Yes." Adil smiled. "Please. Please touch me, Toby,” he begged.

Toby trailed his long, pale fingers down over Adil’s skin, running his fingertips over every muscle and mark and scar, stopping to kiss down the fine line of hair on Adil’s stomach.

Adil's vision blurred when Toby finally took his cock in his hand and, kissing and nibbling at his throat, his neck, his chest, began to stroke up and down until he found a rhythm that had Adil covering his own mouth to stifle his groans.

“Toby, my Toby,” Adil heard himself moaning.

"I am yours, Adil. All yours." Toby whispered as he shifted down slightly to take the head of Adil’s cock into his mouth, all the time continuing to pump it with his hand. As Adil gasped and writhed in pleasure, Toby looked up at him with his wide grin and Adil knew he was finished. 

Fighting the urge to roar his pleasure for the whole hotel to hear, he managed to grind out a warning, fully expecting Toby to move. When he engulfed Adil’s cock and flicked his tongue instead, Adil nearly wept with ecstasy as he came into the wet heat of Toby's mouth.

“You’re beautiful, Adil. You’re just . . . so beautiful,” Toby murmured after a minute or two, resting his head on Adil's stomach, kissing and licking his skin as he came down from his orgasm.

“Toby. Toby that was, that was . . .” Adil panted with a disbelieving giggle as Toby moved up to lay on his side next to him.

“Hmm?” smiled Toby, tilting his head to the side and rolling onto his back, chuckling quietly. Adil propped himself up on his elbow to look down at him.

“You seem very pleased with yourself, Mr Hamilton,” said Adil quietly, feigning seriousness as he rolled on top of Toby.

Bracing his arms either side of Toby's shoulders, he dropped his head down to place a small kiss on the end of Toby's nose. _There's that grin again_ , thought Adil. _That grin will kill me._

“You know, when you smile like that, when you smile at me, just like that, when I’m working, it's so hard not to jump over that bar and have you against the wall . . ” purred Adil.

Toby’s chuckling slowed as Adil began to nip at his earlobes, turning into little gasps as Adil began to stroke his cock ever so delicately. Adil kissed deliberately slowly down Toby’s alabaster chest and stomach, trailing his tongue down over smooth skin and knotted muscle before placing a single, light lick on the head of his cock, feeling drunk with power at the choked off whimpering sounds Toby was making.

He looked up at Toby’s black-brown eyes, looking down at him, wide and pleading, and grinned before he took Toby’s cock in his mouth, taking him to the back of his throat as Toby groaned something that sounded like a plea. Adil worked his way back up Toby's cock, running his tongue up the length before lifting his head and looking up again, licking his upper lip obscenely. 

“Would you like me to do that again?” he asked, all the while stroking Toby’s cock in his hand.

Toby nodded, biting his bottom lip, and Adil took Toby deep into his throat again before beginning to bob his head, flicking his tongue over the head once, twice, again and again and again.

“Oh, good God Adil, please don't stop, Jesus Christ, please . . ” Toby hissed brokenly. Adil could tell from his shallow breathing and the bucking of his hips that he wasn't going to last much longer. Continuing to work Toby’s cock in his mouth, he moved his left hand to steady his hips, urging him deeper and deeper into his throat when suddenly Toby reached out to card his fingers through Adil’s tousled black hair.

“God Adil, I’m going to come!” he gasped.

Adil took Toby right to the back of his throat and let a groan rumble deeply, the vibrations pushing Toby over the edge. He threw his head back in a silent cry as Adil hollowed out his cheeks and pumped the base of his cock with his right hand, his left still gripping his hip.

Toby came into Adil’s mouth, canting his hips, pulling firmly on Adil's hair. As Toby stilled, his moans turning to panting and then to happy sighs, Adil peppered his stomach with kisses, working his way back up his body, memorising every freckle, every plane of muscle, every inch of porcelain skin with his mouth before coming to rest laying on his side next to him.

Still breathing heavily, his pale face wickedly flushed, his mouth still slightly agape, Toby turned onto his side to look again into Adil’s eyes.

“OK?” Adil asked eventually.

Toby just nodded, a tear tumbling from his eye onto the pillow beneath him.

 _Oh God,_ thought Adil. _He wasn’t ready. I rushed him, I should have stopped it. It was too much, I should have made sure he was really ready. It wasn’t what he wanted_.

“God, What’s wrong, Toby? Hey, what’s wrong?” Adil asked frantically, reaching out to touch him.

“Nothing,” answered Toby quickly, the corner of his mouth turning up in a smile, tears falling in earnest now. “Nothing. That was . . . I mean, I had an idea, what to do, what to expect, but . . . I never knew I could feel that way. Could make someone else feel that way. God Adil, I don’t know much about . .  about being with someone," said Toby with an exasperated laugh, "and I imagine . . . I suppose that, well, lying naked next to someone you've just . . . I can't imagine it's usually considered the most, um, _reliable_  time and place," he paused to look into Adil's eyes, "but I need to say this and it's not just because we've just . . . I just can’t _not_ say this, I’m sorry. Oh, God, here goes. I’ve fallen thoroughly, unstoppably, stupidly in love with you. And I don’t know how this can work, and I don’t know what will happen, to us, to the world, it's all such a bloody mess. All I know is that today I thought I might have lost you, and it . . . it ripped me apart. I didn't know anything could hurt like that. I would have had to keep on, knowing I’d never said what I feel because we were out of time and that’s why I’m saying this now, because now could be it, could be all we've got. There may never be a right time, the good time, and I don’t ever want to find out I waited too long. I love you, Adil.”

Adil knew he was grinning like a fool as he leaned towards Toby, kissing away a tear from his cheek.

“Well, I think, actually, this is probably . . . a _good_ time,” stuttered Adil after a moment, entwining his fingers with Toby’s. “But even if it isn’t, I love you too, Toby. I love you, and I’m scared. Scared for you, scared for me. Scared for the people around us. A lot of the time, I’m scared _of_ the people around us. But more than all of it, the thing that scares me the most is not being with you. Not being able to see you, to touch you, to keep whatever this is with me so I can live, if that’s what I have to do to breathe, to - to keep going. My heart is just . . . it's full of you.”

As they lay together, their tears falling into their soft, deep, drowsy kisses, Adil knew he couldn’t stay. He knew, too, that that would probably always be true for a lot of the time they had together. Getting cleaned up, removing the salt and the sweat and the kisses and the come that were the story of the way he worshipped Toby's body, getting dressed and leaving Toby’s room secretly the same way he arrived would probably always be the way they lived their lives. It was how it had to be, might always be, and he was ready. He was ready to have his heart smashed into a million pieces by Toby Hamilton if it meant he would let him love him. But for now, Adil kissed Toby, his Toby, and tucked his love safe inside himself as he made his way out of the door, back out into a world still turning.

 

 


End file.
